“Getting pregnant at 17 was very scary” - young mothers about what they experienced


Early pregnancy

Most teenage girls are convinced that their body is not fully formed, so they do not think about unwanted pregnancy, as well as its consequences. But such a belief is fundamentally wrong, since at the age of fourteen a girl’s reproductive function works perfectly, sometimes better than in adult women. It is worth knowing that once a girl starts menstruating, she can theoretically become a mother. Typically, critical days appear at the age of 12 years.

Unlike her body, a young mother is not psychologically ready for the birth of a child. Most girls are afraid of the reaction of others and family, as they understand that such news will cause a public outcry, which will at least lead to a loss of reputation. If sexual activity began at a fairly young age, and the girl is of little concern, then she should at least have information about contraception in order to avoid undesirable consequences.

What is the responsibility of a 19-year-old for the pregnancy of a 17-year-old citizen?

If a guy is 19 and soon 20, I’m 17 and got pregnant, will the guy be locked up for guardianship?
And if you have an abortion, does your guardian inform you? Hello. Regarding the first question: they will not go to jail, since criminal liability is established only for adults for sexual intercourse with a person under 16 years of age (i.e., 15 years of age and younger). on the second question: they will not report.

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No one will be jailed.

Write an application to local government authorities for marriage.

Article 13. Marriage age

1. The age of marriage is set at eighteen years.2. If there are valid reasons, local government bodies at the place of residence of persons wishing to get married have the right, at the request of these persons, to allow persons who have reached the age of sixteen years to get married (as amended by the Federal Law of November 15.

Features of the body of a 14-year-old girl

As a rule, at the age of 14, a girl thinks that she is already a full-fledged adult, strives to imitate her parents and her older friends, sometimes not copying the best model of behavior. However, pregnancy at this age is extremely undesirable, as it brings enormous stress to a fragile body. In most cases, it is much easier for teenagers to bear a child than for adult women, but you need to understand that after giving birth you will have to forget about childhood forever, giving up entertainment and other pleasant moments.

Careless behavior during teenage pregnancy can cause miscarriage. But despite all the risks, many teenage girls who find themselves in difficult situations see this as the best way out. It is worth remembering that losing a child is not the safest method of terminating a pregnancy. No one excludes the possibility of catching an infection while in the hospital for cleaning. Often such procedures lead to the girl becoming infertile.

Problem: I'm 17 years old and pregnant

Any society that considers itself civilized has its own fairly clear laws regulating the minimum age for marriage. But as for the age after which pregnancy is considered appropriate, here, rather, decency and concepts based on common sense and the life experience of generations apply. And what does pregnancy at 17 look like in this light?

Problem: pregnancy at 17 years old

To better understand the problems of this not too rare and very relevant phenomenon, we should consider several of its most obvious and important aspects.

Socio-economic aspect

In the modern world, especially in its socially and politically developed part, the indisputable threshold of adulthood is the age of 18 years and even older - for some states.

And girls younger than this age are not only minors in the face of the law, but also, due to their social status, are limited in real rights and opportunities, since they have, at best, an incomplete secondary education and cannot boast of having a decent job and financial independence.

So, what to do if you are pregnant at 17? Parents are usually ready to provide financially for their high school daughter over the next few years, but finding that her independence is postponed for an indefinitely long time (and at the same time another dependent is added) is quite difficult even for relatively wealthy people.

In addition, the birth of a child will inevitably complicate the ability to complete schooling and obtain a professional one, and will reduce the opportunity to devote the coming years to laying the foundations for a career and future.

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Moral and psychological aspect

The realization of the fact “I’m 17 years old and I’m pregnant” is quite difficult for the girl herself. It is no secret that a rare pregnancy at this age is desired and needed by the expectant mother, and by the expectant father too.

For the girl herself and her family, pregnancy at the age of 17 sometimes turns into a serious shock, and the question of what to do, how to do the right thing is not always the best answer. Conflicts arise between the expectant mother and her relatives, the father of the child, and the views and gossip of others add fuel to the fire.

Romance instantly turns into shock, and in the worst case, disappointment and indignation of parents, grins from girlfriends and, unfortunately, often a break in relations with a guy.

And it’s even more difficult if all these difficulties are superimposed on the girl’s elementary psychological unpreparedness for motherhood. If a girl is not mentally mature enough to devote most of her thoughts and energy to the baby year after year, if she dreams of parties and romances without obligations, then it will not be easy for her to adjust to family life (and a child is a family!).

But if she decides to give birth and raise her child, then at thirty she will be a young mother of a fairly independent child!

Financial aspect of pregnancy at 17 years old

The question of who will support the mother and child until the mother is unable to work has already been mentioned, but it is nevertheless worthy of serious consideration. Logically, the man who took part in the conception should also participate in the financial solution of the situation.

Unfortunately, here the simpler, cheaper and therefore more accessible solution is abortion, and therefore it seems reasonable to many young people. But not everyone can think about what consequences it will have for the girl.

Therefore, if a young man who does not want to become a father in the near future categorically insists on an abortion, then the girl will have to make the decision herself, consulting with her family and, if possible, with the guy’s parents.

Of course, the decision to have an abortion may seem the most reasonable to the girl herself, because then she will soon be able to throw the unpleasant moment out of her memory and continue to lead her usual life, perhaps having gained negative experience and, perhaps, becoming more careful. But, unfortunately, you cannot count on the complete absence of consequences of an abortion.

And the fact that some women manage to do it several times in their lives and become pregnant again will not help a particular girl in any way. A seventeen-year-old girl is unlikely to want to think about gynecological problems of adulthood, for example, extensive adhesions in the pelvis or mastopathy due to hormonal disorders.

But the danger of infertility, especially relevant with Rh-negative blood group, should be clear at this age.

What should a girl do if she becomes pregnant at 17?

Of course, each person and each destiny is individual and unique, and what is the best solution for one will be completely unacceptable for another. But some points are true for everyone and, if understood correctly, can help you correctly understand your own situation.

Firstly, if a girl becomes pregnant at 17 years old, then this is not a disease or pathology, it is an almost normal event, although a little premature.

Remember, your great-great-grandmothers often got married and gave birth to children at this age and did not consider that they were too young for such a burden.

Yes, the situation was different, the girls were mentally prepared for motherhood, since it was not in tradition to “work up”, get an education, make a career and only then give birth.

In addition, at this age there was already a legal marriage, and divorces practically did not exist, so the child initially had a father, and therefore, most often, paternal grandparents.

However, modern realities have their advantages for young mothers. Firstly, the times are gone when pregnancy outside of marriage was considered an indelible shame and a reason for relatives to turn away from such a girl. Now it is more likely that overly harsh relatives or a man who does not want to bear responsibility for what happened will be condemned.

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In the worst case scenario (man's refusal to help, rejection by relatives), the girl can count on social support from the state - a lump sum payment upon the birth of a child, child benefit.

Can look for information about centers for the protection of motherhood and childhood, find a helpline for teenagers and say: “I’m 17 years old and I’m pregnant,” ask for help or advice that is relevant to the given case and region.

It is only important to decide definitely whether she decides to give birth or not, and whether she intends to keep the child.

But in most cases the situation is not so complicated. Yes, parents are not too pleasantly surprised by their daughter’s early and out-of-wedlock pregnancy. Yes, a young man may flatly refuse to acknowledge paternity.

However, most often, either he or the future grandparents on both sides still agree to provide assistance to the mother and child without marriage.

And if the couple is on really good terms and the guy is responsible by nature, as befits a man, then a seventeen-year-old girl can marry him with the permission of local authorities with the consent of her parents. Or wait until you turn eighteen and then get married on a general basis.

Source: https://MoeDitya.com/pregnancy/vedenie/17-let-beremenna

Don't be afraid of your parents

A girl who is pregnant at 14 years old is in most cases afraid to tell the truth about her situation to her parents. However, it must be remembered that without their participation this issue cannot be resolved. Only adults will help you make the only right decision. In addition, no doctor will perform an abortion on a teenager under fifteen years of age without the consent of the father and mother.

Pregnancy at 14 years old: what to do

Many parents raising girls are sincerely convinced that such a situation has no place in their family. However, as practice shows, the vast majority of young grandparents thought exactly the same. To ensure that this kind of news does not confuse you, we suggest that you familiarize yourself with the following recommendations on what to do if a girl is pregnant at 14 years old.

First, you need to make sure that the girl is really in an “interesting” position. To do this, just buy a test at the pharmacy (preferably two) and look at the result it shows. If positive, we go to the diagnostic center, where specialists will do all the necessary tests, as well as an ultrasound. As soon as the doctors confirm to you that you are pregnant, tell your teenage father about this “good” news. Most likely, the reaction will be extremely negative, so you should be prepared for this.

What the examination showed

However, many do not believe that a 10-year-old boy can be the father. Of course, the investigation will sort everything out; a case has already been opened. But the journalists conducted their own examination. Urologist-andrologist Evgeniy Grekov was invited to the studio, who examined Vanya.


Photo: social networks

“By and large, a boy could become the father of a child in one case: if he has premature puberty. We rearranged the analysis three times, so there should be no error. As our laboratory concludes, follicle-stimulating hormone is under pressure, there cannot be sperm. He is still a child, he has no testosterone. Puberty is not even tomorrow,” the expert said.


Photo: social networks

Parent council

Since the future father is most likely also a minor, his decision or opinion will be of little use. It is necessary to establish contact with his parents, with whom a difficult and long conversation awaits. First of all, you will have to find a general answer to the question of whether to keep the child or not, and only then solve other problems.

In such situations, many experts recommend turning to psychologists who will help relieve emotional stress for a girl who is pregnant at 14 years old.

Decided to have an abortion

If you find out that your daughter is pregnant at 14 years old, and you are categorically against her becoming a very young mother, then you urgently need to have an abortion. Remember, in this situation, time is against you, and the sooner the pregnancy is terminated, the less harmful it will be to your health.

First, you need to go to an antenatal clinic. After the examination, the specialist will tell you about the possible consequences, and will also give you a form to sign, in which you must confirm your consent to the abortion. Such operations do not go unnoticed, and the outcome of a teenage pregnancy terminated surgically can be disastrous.

Perhaps, after reading the list of various complications caused by an abortion, and also thinking several times, you will change your decision. The safest way to terminate a pregnancy is medical abortion, which rarely causes harm to health. After surgery, the following problems may occur:

  • infertility;
  • endometriosis;
  • uterine fibroids;
  • fibroids;
  • menstrual irregularities.

Also do not forget that mortality after abortion has a fairly high percentage in our country. If any complications arise or in the event of death, all responsibility falls on the shoulders of the parents. In order not to undermine the health of your own child, as well as to save the baby’s life, it is better to refrain from extreme measures.

We decided to give birth

If you do not have a question about terminating the pregnancy, then you need to go to the antenatal clinic, where the young mother will be registered. Since a teenager’s body is still very fragile, it is necessary to constantly monitor all changes, monitor the progress of pregnancy and make timely adjustments to the daily routine. Strictly adhere to all recommendations of specialists.

You should also instill confidence in the expectant mother so that she does not doubt for a minute that her parents will provide all possible assistance after childbirth. After all, she herself is still just a child, and she does not know how to properly care for a newborn baby. In addition to care and education, which, of course, will take up most of the young mother’s time, she still has to finish school and then go to university. She cannot do without this, since someday she needs to start providing for her son or daughter on her own, and without education it is almost impossible to do this.

In addition, you should be aware of the full extent of responsibility. A girl must understand that with the birth of a child she will have to give up her usual communication with peers, since she will need to pay enormous attention to the baby. If a girl who gave birth at an early age, after returning home from the maternity hospital, continues to lead her usual lifestyle, shifting all responsibility to her parents, there is a high probability that she will not fully develop maternal instinct.

Evgenia Adamova, 26 years old, pregnant with her second child, gave birth to her first at age 18

“I got pregnant for the first time when I was 17 years old. Of course, I was scared, and first of all, I was afraid that I would not be able to give my child everything he needed at such a young age. We are not talking about material things: thank God, at that time we already had an apartment and enough money. But I was afraid that I had too little experience to raise a child well. But over time I realized how wrong I was.

Both my then-boyfriend and my mother received the news about the child wonderfully. We dealt with all difficulties together. I read books, prepared for childbirth, tried not to worry. True, my pregnancy was very difficult. One day I noticed that the baby was not moving for a long time, and I went to the doctors. It was evening, and I was told that the ultrasound could only be done the next day. They decided to check the fetal heartbeat, after which they told me that the child had died in the womb and an operation needed to be done in the morning. Can you imagine my reaction? I cried all night and suffered. In the morning I had an ultrasound - it turned out that everything was fine, my daughter was alive. Since then, I have been very wary of medical recommendations. Despite the fact that we are no longer together with the father of our first child, we managed to maintain an excellent relationship. He is on excellent terms with his daughter Karina - she is now 7 years old - he often spends time with her, takes her to his place, gives her gifts, and makes friends. My husband Sasha, with whom I am expecting my second child, also gets along well with him.

Now I am incredibly happy that I will soon have a son from the man I love. My husband is my support and pride, he cares about us very much. True, he is now serving in the special forces in Krasnodar: he signed a contract, and soon the whole family will move there. The 7 year difference between my children also makes me very happy. My daughter is like a friend to me; she is very understanding and loving. I think they will have a great relationship with their brother.

Of course, after I gave birth, I had to give up a lot. I only finished 9th grade of school. Naturally, further study was out of the question at that time. Afterwards I went to work, but I still haven’t filled the education gap. I think I still have everything ahead of me. I started seeing friends less often and going out somewhere – this is normal. I don’t think I made any sacrifice: true friends will not stop communicating with you, knowing that you are busy with the child. Rather, they will come to visit themselves, and we will all spend time together. By the way, now my daughter has fit in perfectly with the company of my friends - and they are very informal - and gets along well with them. Now we are looking forward to the birth of our son Dmitry. The name – it seems to me very strong and “punchy” – was chosen by my husband.

I just now started to think about the fears of young mothers. Believe me, all the things they are afraid of are such trifles! Many people run for an abortion, thinking that they will not have enough money. Or they take the life of a baby just because there is nowhere to live with a husband, and some don’t even have a husband... Now I’m even scared to think about it. There's nothing to be afraid of, really! I fully realized this only when Karinochka grew up. Everything will be fine! The main thing is to live without fears, and then you will be able to give your children more than you ever imagined!”

Photo: personal archive, Ksenia Maltz

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