A baby may wake up at night not only because of a natural change in sleep phases, teething or a developing cold. Sometimes night awakenings can be associated with other reasons, for example: startling in sleep, interruptions in the baby’s breathing (sleep apnea), incomplete awakening from deep sleep (sleepwalking and night terrors), fears, problems and nightmares that torment the child, etc. d. You will find special medical literature about each of these phenomena, so we will touch on these topics only briefly, talking about the most important things.
Startling in sleep
Sometimes the baby wakes up because he starts in his sleep or when falling asleep. At these moments, individual muscle groups tense and relax unevenly. The cause may be overexcitation before bedtime, as well as loud noises that frighten the baby. Don't be scared or make sudden movements. Most likely, the baby, having opened his eyes slightly and made sure that everything is in order, will again fall into a doze.
If the tremors are repeated several times in a row and have no apparent reason, then we can talk about convulsions. In this case, it is imperative to show the child to a pediatric neurologist.
Interruptions in breathing (sleep apnea)
Some children suddenly begin to snore in their sleep without having a cold. If you listen carefully, the snoring is interrupted from time to time, and the baby does not breathe for some time (up to 10 seconds). This phenomenon is called sleep apnea and is due to the fact that the flow of air on the way to the trachea is interrupted. Sometimes the throat muscles relax so much during sleep that the tongue falls back and blocks the air flow. Enlarged tonsils and adenoids are also a common cause. During the day, these children often seem sleepy and tired. Sometimes, on the contrary, they are overly active, or parents notice some other changes in their behavior.
If you notice signs of sleep apnea in your child, you should definitely take him to the doctor. In most cases, enlarged tonsils or adenoids have to be removed, but the baby will sleep soundly and peacefully again at night.
Reasons why a child often wakes up at night
Why do children wake up at night? Because it’s natural for them!
Judging by the research of Peter Fleming from the University of Bristol (Professor of Infant Health and Developmental Physiology Peter Fleming), professor of developmental psychology and child health: “Babies do not tend to sleep for long periods of time, both during the day and at night.” According to him, the opposite idea of the twentieth century does not correspond to reality today, no matter how much most young parents would like it.
He states: “Babies do not tend to sleep for long periods of time during the day or night. To date, there is no evidence that prolonged sleep will bring any benefit to babies. On the contrary, frequent wakefulness is a more natural state for babies.”
In fact, even adults don't sleep through the entire night.
University of Notre Dame Professor Darcia F. Narvaez (Professor of psychology at Notre Dame University) says that one of the main misconceptions as adults is that we sleep 8 hours. But that's not true!
"Adults just forget that they are constantly waking up throughout the night," she says. “We shorten our sleep into the 8-hour period just because we basically have an 8-hour work day. But if you look at history, this is not normal. Normal rest has short periods of waking and sleeping. Since the beginning of human civilization, people slept for 2 hours and then were forced to go hunting or gathering herbs. And so, within 24 hours. This is how the evolution of all humanity took place.”
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Babies need an external sense of security and continuous close contact with their parents.
“Human babies are born several months before their body has fully developed,” says Darcia Narvaez. “Other animals very soon after birth, or immediately, begin to walk and consume food on their own. But we can’t do that.”
That is, our children leave the womb at a time when their brain is only 25% developed, and most of its functions have not yet been formed. This means that our children, for their full development, require constant care and reliable protection. The child wants to constantly feel his mother nearby: the way he felt her in the womb. Hear her heartbeat, breathing, receive her warmth. This is the reason why children often wake up at night, especially in the first year of life.
For better mental and intellectual health
“Children who wake up frequently in the middle of the night are considered more alert and intellectually developed,” says Dr. Fleming. “And those who are in close contact with their parents in the future become more organized people, have a better ability to understand the world and perceive the world, and they are also less prone to depression,” adds Narvaez.
Sleepwalking
You already know that your baby's deep sleep phase is interrupted from time to time by moments of incomplete awakening. Usually these moments go unnoticed. The child may roll over, mutter something, open his eyes for a short moment and, without any problems, fall back into deep sleep. But sometimes children linger in a similar state of half-asleep, half-awake. At this time, they may talk, walk and make other unconscious movements and actions (sleepwalking), as well as scream in fear without realizing it and without reacting to your presence (night fright).
Do not be alarmed - in most cases this condition is not dangerous and until the age of six it is usually not associated with any mental disorders, fears or problems. According to doctors, the predisposition to sleepwalking is transmitted genetically and is associated with a longer process of brain formation than in other children.
If your baby moves around the room in a similar state, then you must make sure that he cannot get hurt, open a window or front door, go out onto the balcony, etc.
In addition, he must get enough sleep at night and not be too tired during the day (tired children sleep especially deeply). Therefore, try to adhere to a clear daily routine.
If a child cries at night...
Question:
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah, sister. I have a question for a child psychologist. My son (2 years old) has recently started waking up at night and crying a lot. At the same time, he shouts “give it here,” “it hurts,” “go away.” I think he has nightmares in his sleep. What to do in this case, and what could this be connected with? Barakallah.
Answer:
In the name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
Everyone knows that sound, healthy sleep is the best way to relieve fatigue and stress. A person who sleeps soundly is said to sleep like a baby. But not all children sleep peacefully. If a child over one year old cries in his sleep, this should alert parents.
There are many reasons why a small child may cry at night. They can be both psychological and physiological. And parents can often figure them out themselves, even without the help of specialists. After all, the main thing here is to carefully observe the child’s behavior. And not only at night, but also during the day.
So, what could be the reasons for the sudden crying of a child aged 2-3 years:
The baby is uncomfortable
Your baby may be hot, cold, stuffy, or wet from sweating. Don't try to cover your baby too warmly, but don't allow him to overheat. Ventilate the room before going to bed.
Overexcitement
If a child plays actively in the evening and gets vivid impressions, he can easily become overexcited. It is no secret that children who are overexcited in the evening cannot fall asleep for a long time, sleep poorly and cry especially loudly and for a long time in their sleep. To prevent crying at night, parents should try not to overstimulate their child in the evening. In the evening there should be a quiet and calm environment with the most peaceful activities. Read books, turn on the Koran, draw something, and let the baby watch.
Make sure your child is full before bed, but does not overeat. Also, give up sweets in the evening. The incoming glucose also helps to excite the child. By falling asleep in a calm state, the baby will sleep peacefully all night to the delight of the whole family.
Particular attention should be paid to increased nervous excitability in the child. Such a child should be regularly observed by an experienced pediatric neurologist. After all, an early fight against increased excitability will help avoid more serious diseases of the nervous system in the future.
Relationships between parents
Babies react very sensitively to changes in their parents' states and moods. Children of parents who do not have close relationships with each other often cry at night. If there is an uneven emotional background in the family, then the child will be more anxious, which leads to anxious sleep. Sometimes a child's crying indicates a lack of love and care from loved ones. In this case, the baby needs more physical and emotional contact with his parents. Take him in your arms more often, sit him on your lap, stroke him, kiss him, massage him. Only all this needs to be done with desire and pleasure, and not with thoughts: “well, when will he leave me alone?”
Sleepwalking
The baby's deep sleep phase is occasionally interrupted by moments of incomplete awakening. Usually these moments go unnoticed. The child can roll over onto the other side, mutter something, open his eyes for a short moment and, without any problems, fall back into deep sleep. But sometimes children linger in a similar state of half-asleep, half-awake. At this time, they may talk, walk and make other unconscious movements and actions (sleepwalking), as well as scream in fear without realizing it and without reacting to your presence (night fright).
Do not be alarmed - in most cases, this condition is not dangerous and until the age of six is usually not associated with any mental disorders, fears or problems. According to doctors, the predisposition to sleepwalking is transmitted genetically and is associated with a longer process of brain formation than in other children.
If your baby moves around the room in a similar state, then you must make sure that he cannot get hurt, open a window or front door, go out onto the balcony, etc.
In addition, he must get enough sleep at night and not be too tired during the day (tired children sleep especially deeply). Therefore, try to adhere to a clear daily routine.
Fears
Fear is another common reason why children cry in their sleep. If a child suddenly screams or cries in fear at night (sometimes also waving his arms, sweating, and his heart beats rapidly) and does not let you near him, then he is in a state of night fright. He sees a terrible dream, but does not wake up from it. And in the morning, as a rule, he doesn’t remember anything. An attack of night terrors may pass quickly, but can last up to 20 - 30 minutes. Then the child suddenly calms down, relaxes and falls asleep peacefully.
But in addition to such night terrors, children can also have nightmares. The cause of nightmares usually lies in the impressions, experiences and shocks of the past day. The children dream about their day and everything they experienced during that day: they lost or took away a toy, they fell and hurt themselves, their mother didn’t give them a “yummy treat,” a large dog suddenly appeared in front of them, a car suddenly braked, a frightening-looking passer-by spoke to the baby. Children who often watch TV may be afraid of the events they see there, such as fire, war, disaster, attack, fight, etc. That is, everything that made a strong impression on the child or frightened him during the day can be reflected in frightening dreams.
Often children begin to be afraid of their own fantasies. The boundary between their real idea of the world and their fantasy is still very vague, and their imaginations suddenly begin to get out of control, become unruly and scary.
Sometimes parents intimidate children without thinking about the consequences: “If you don’t listen, the policeman will take you away,” “if you don’t shut up, a doctor will come and give you an injection.” Or the saddest phrase I have ever heard: “Allah will be angry with you! Allah will punish you! Parents, manipulating the child’s behavior in this way, instead of the obedience they expect, get a little man who is angry with everyone and the whole world. If you punish a child, he may be tormented by the fear of punishment, which is also reflected in nightmares
Children with overprotective parents also suffer. “Careful - you’ll fall!”, “Don’t touch the dog - it will bite!”, “Don’t climb - you’ll hit yourself”, “Get dressed - you’ll catch a cold!” Adults themselves often literally instill fear in the child and plant in his subconscious the idea that the world consists of only dangers. Many mothers can object to this that he really falls, gets bitten, and then gets sick. But if we sincerely believe that nothing will harm us without the order of the Almighty, then so it will be. And if something happened, then it was prescribed by the Almighty.
What to do if a child cries in his sleep?
First, you need to find out the reasons for these tears. Try to remember what events in the life of the family coincided with the beginning of night crying. After all, some event nevertheless provoked the child’s anxious behavior. Such things do not happen by themselves, your boy’s behavior indicates that something is bothering or frightening him, and the accumulated tension “comes out” in a similar way.
If the reasons for tears are fear, then try to find out its reason. Treat fear with understanding, never scold or shame your child for it. Assure that you will always protect him, and most importantly, Allah Taala is always with him. Play up his fear by turning what is scary into something kind and sweet.
Try to play calmer games in the evening, take soothing baths 2-3 times a week, for example, pine or iodine-bromine baths (at least 30 minutes, since less time provokes activity rather than calmness). Let your baby fall asleep next to an adult, this can help relieve anxiety now. Be sure to go to bed according to the Sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH).
To relieve emotional stress, increase physical contact with your child. In the evening, you can drink a soothing decoction or other drinks (milk, honey water). Leave a night light on. Never lock your child in a dark room. Stop watching TV and cartoons.
And of course, turn to Allah Almighty for help, because the dua of parents is one of the most powerful.
May Allah help you. Amen.
And Allah Almighty knows best.
Hayat Ibragimova, child psychologist
Using materials from https://www.7ya.ru/article/Detskie-strahi-i-narusheniya-sna-po-drugim-prichinam/
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Night fright
If a child, in the first 3-4 hours after falling asleep, suddenly screams or cries in fear (sometimes he also waves his arms, sweats, and his heart beats rapidly) and does not let you near him, then he is in a state of night terror. He sees a terrible dream, but does not wake up from it. Do not try to wake up the baby at this moment. Make sure he doesn't get hurt. Don’t ask the next morning what the matter was—the child won’t be able to remember anything. A night terror may pass quickly, but can last up to 20 (or even 30) minutes. Then the child suddenly calms down, relaxes and falls asleep peacefully. Over time, night terrors go away on their own, so reassure yourself with the thought that this phenomenon is temporary and not dangerous.
Nightmares, childhood fears and healing tales
If a night fright occurs during a period of deep sleep (the baby sees a terrible dream, does not notice you, screams and does not allow you to get closer to him), then nightmares occur during REM sleep (the child cries with fear, having already woken up, reacts to your presence and gives calm yourself down).
The cause of nightmares usually lies in childhood fears and problems, as well as in conflicts, impressions, experiences and shocks of the past day. Therefore, it is very important to give the baby the opportunity to talk about his dream. This alone can help him free himself from fear. In addition, you can thus find out what specific facts or events lie behind it.
Nightmares especially often plague children between 3 and 6 years of age. At this age, the child already sees and knows a lot, but does not yet understand everything. He does not yet have life experience, so he may be afraid of the new and unfamiliar, frightening events and unexpected situations. A quarrel between parents, a large dog suddenly appearing in front of a child, a car that suddenly brakes, a frightening-looking passerby who speaks to the child - everything that made a strong impression on him or frightened him during the day can be reflected in frightening dreams.
The boundary between a real idea of the world and fantasy is still very vague in young children, and children are often frightened by their own inventions. Fantasies suddenly begin to get out of control, become unruly and scary. Ghosts, trolls and other fairy-tale figures or cartoon characters begin to haunt the baby, approach his crib and disturb his nighttime peace.
Very often children are afraid of the dark. Usually this is an acquired fear - either inspired by us, or arising after some event that frightened the child. Fairy tales and films reinforce this fear, populating the nighttime with all kinds of spirits, demons, vampires and other evil spirits.
Newborn babies are frightened by sharp sounds and large objects approaching them. They worry in the absence of their mother, and from 7-8 months they begin to be afraid of unfamiliar adults.
Children from 3 to 5 years old are often afraid of fairy-tale characters (Babu Yaga, Koshchei the Immortal, dragons and monsters). Having captured the child's imagination during the day, they haunt him at night. There is even an opinion that fear of Barmaley or Koshchei may indicate a child’s problems with his father, and if a child dreams of Baba Yaga, this may be a reflection of a conflict with his mother.
If you punish a child, he may be tormented by the fear of punishment, which is also reflected in nightmares.
Conflicts in the family almost always lead to children's fears.
Children who often watch TV may be afraid of the events they see there, such as a fire, war, disaster, attack, fight, etc. Fears appear in children after surgery, a serious illness, or the death of someone in the family.
By school age, old fears usually disappear, but new ones may appear - fear of getting a bad grade, being late, being the laughing stock of classmates, etc.
Sometimes parents bully their kids without thinking about the consequences. “If you don’t obey, an uncle policeman will take you away”, “Don’t make noise, otherwise Baba Yaga will come”, “Eat up, otherwise a terrible bear will carry you into the forest” - what kind of educational “masterpieces” do parents not resort to in order to influence for your child. If the baby believes you, it's terrible. So, you, the only close and beloved people, agree to give it to Baba Yaga or the bear because of half-eaten porridge? Who, besides you, will protect him? Left alone with his fear, the baby will probably be afraid of the dark and suffer from nightmares. Well, if he didn’t believe you (no matter how many times you scared him, he never met Baba Yaga, never saw a terrible bear except in the zoo, and the policeman doesn’t care about his whims), then the kid will be convinced that you lie to him to make him be obedient. He will learn for himself that it is possible to lie, and that is normal. Is this what you wanted to achieve?
Children who are sick or overprotected by their parents often suffer from fears. “Careful, you’ll fall!”, “Don’t touch the dog, he’ll bite!”, “Don’t climb, you’ll hit yourself!”, “Get dressed, you’ll catch a cold!” — aren’t we ourselves often literally instilling fear in a child and planting in his subconscious the idea that the world consists of only dangers that he, so small and weak, cannot resist!
It is especially difficult for children who have anxious, fearful parents. They pass on their fear to the child, and this is a truly difficult test for the child’s psyche.
Some mothers and grandmothers tend to tremble over the baby, watching his every step with fear, especially if the child is late, the only one and not entirely healthy. It is not surprising that constant fear will become a familiar background throughout his life and will certainly affect the baby’s sleep in the form of nightmares. (Deep-seated fear can also subsequently cause neuroses, tics, stuttering, aggressiveness and other symptoms that need to be treated.)
Why does a newborn cry?
Very young children scream in their sleep due to any inconvenience. Parents should not ignore such emotional manifestations.
You definitely need to approach the little man, pick him up, examine him, and check if he is cold. What can cause night tears?
- A whining baby wants to tell you that he is hungry. If you look at the clock, you will immediately understand from the demanding cries that it is time for the next feeding. Usually, a newborn falls asleep quickly as soon as he has had his fill of milk.
- Newborns often suffer from intestinal colic, since their digestive system is not yet able to fully cope with its responsibilities. It is the hardest for artificially fed children, although breast-fed children are not immune from this scourge. Try giving your baby special drops and take them in your arms, warming them with their warmth.
- If you are sure that the baby is not hungry or colicky, he has probably just relieved himself and is communicating that he is uncomfortable and wants you to change his diaper or diaper.
- Why does the baby cry in his sleep? He just misses his mom. He is already accustomed to falling asleep in his mother’s arms, and when he stops feeling her presence, he begins to whine. In this situation, you can simply take the baby in your arms and wait until he closes his eyes again.
- The room temperature that is comfortable for you is not always ideal for a baby. If he cries, throws out his arms and legs, and his skin is covered with sweat, then the room is too hot. A baby with goose bumps and cold extremities is cold; you need to wrap him up warmer or turn on the heater.
- If a month-old baby cries all day and night and you cannot calm him down, perhaps the problem lies in the excessive sensitivity of the nervous system. Show the newborn to a neurologist and try to find a way out of this situation together.
- If the baby wakes up at night crying and does not calm down for a long time, it means he is sick. Obvious signs of illness are high fever, wet or dry cough, and runny nose.
The following diseases can also cause night tears:
- abdominal pain;
- stomatitis;
- discomfort when urinating and bowel movements;
- inflammation of the middle ear.
In this case, you cannot hesitate or hesitate, but you must urgently contact a pediatrician.
